Guess who almost got their catalytic converter stolen at 1:30am this morning while damn near in their draws, thus prompting a visit from the NYPD? Go ahead, bet ya can’t guess. Also, I bet ya can’t guess whose car is going in the garage tomorrow! Go ahead, bet ya can’t guess.
The story is that my daughter saw two guys in a black car fucking with her ride from her window. They set off the car alarm which wakes me up. She screams at them from the window and scares them off. I run downstairs to check on the car, literally in my underwear. I walked around and started up the car to make sure everything was good. But as I turn off the car the police roll by. I notice that they stop a few cars ahead of me and are looking around. I make the decision to exit the car instead of staying put and looking like I have something to hide. I am a large bald headed black man out after curfew but it was drizzling and I was in my shorts and a Scooby Doo mask. How threatening can I be?
Thankfully the cops were professional, even the small one in the riot helmet tapping his baton. He looked ready to go. They asked me if I called the police, which of course I hadn’t. Right then my neighbor on the second floor yells out to me by name to make sure all is good. It appears that he had called the cops after my daughter’s scream chased them off.
At first we thought that the guys in the black car had been looking to steal the rims. It didn’t make sense that they wanted to steal the rims off an 11 year old Toyota Prius. That would be some serious crackhead shit. It turns out that they were trying to steal the catalytic converter from under the car. If I wasn’t so mad I would almost feel sorry for their petty asses. Almost.
The cops satisfied with my story, sincerely complement me on my Scooby Doo mask and head out. I get back upstairs and I am greeted by my daughter who is in tears. It seems that she had been videotaping the whole encounter and was terrified that I might be that next brother in the news.
I told her calmly that I was fine and I have no intention of ever dying in my underwear and a Scooby Doo mask. When I die it will be in a Batman mask and cape like any self respecting Dark Knight fan.
I don’t think that she thought that was funny.