Well not really, but I do think she was trying to scare the crap outta me. The day started when Ski has this “great idea” to go biking to the beach where her family has been going for years. Now keep in mind that this is Norway, THEY DO NOT HAVE BEACHES. THEY HAVE SHORES. Big ole rocky shores. So I was kinda skeptical from the beginning. However we didn’t have anything else to do since the kids were out with Ski’s brother and his family. So I decided to go with her because I figured it is always nice when you and your wife are able to get away without the kids, even if it involves an unnatural amount of exercise.
Anyway the “beach” was about 10 to 12 kilometers away. Or if you consider the round trip, 20 to 24 kilometers (about 12-15 miles for you Americans) . This is not great distance as far a biking trips are measured. But once again, this is Oslo, Norway. To understand my point you have to realize that Oslo is built on the side of a mountain. Everywhere you go you are traveling either up or down a hill. Nothing is flat. Nothing. So this 20 to 24 kilometer ride now becomes exponentially more difficult due to all the hills. Of course my lovely wife forgot to mention this little fact. You see she is preparing to run the NYC marathon again so small stuff like passing out from heart palpitations is something she has learned to deal with as a natural part of life. But hold on a sec, I have not even gotten to the good part yet.
The the majority of the road to the “beach” is a fu&#*n’ highway. I am not talking about a street. I was a bike messenger in NYC for a few summers so riding in the street doesn’t bother me much. But this was a real fu&#*n’ highway. A two lane highway, with no shoulder and traffic heading in both directions. Cars, buses, and trucks have to dip into the oncoming lane of traffic in order to pass us safely on this highway. This wouldn’t be so bad if the Norwegians drivers would slow down in order to do this, but they don’t slow down. They continue to wiz by us at breakneck speeds while my psychotic daredevil wife rides along pointing out interesting little pieces of Norwegian trivia. Needless to say that it will be a long while before I go riding with her again.